by the DINO MAN, AUTHORITY ON BALD WEIGHTLIFTERS
Just when you think the USAWA website has stooped to a new “all time low”, I try to take things a little deeper. Thus today’s story. You know – our organization is loaded with bald lifters. Several of these All-Round muscle-men got chrome-domes that radiate sexy. It is a proven fact that baldness is a sign of vitality and virility (I think I read that in Mens Health…). I have been known to shave my head for a big meet every now and then – just to give myself that extra BOOST of testosterone that comes from having a sweaty shiny crown!!! I think is about time that these bald guys get a little recognition, so I conducted a survey of the MOST SEXY BALD MEN in IAWA. Of course, I couldn’t make this decision by myself so I assimilated a panel of women to make this big decision so it’s totally impartial on my part. I collected pictures of all the good looking bald guys in IAWA and presented them to the panel to make a ranking. I’m only going to reveal the TOP FIVE, but there were over 20 pictures entered. Just in case you wondered – only lifters that have competed in the IAWA Gold Cup or the IAWA Worlds within the past 3 years were entered. I’m keeping the identities of this panel a secret – as I don’t want them to get any complaints personally for not being picked, or worse yet, words of passion from a bald headed romeo.
Let the countdown begin to NUMBER ONE!!!
5. Graham Saxton, ENGLAND
This burly built muscle bound man oozes sexyness from his shiny noggin. I want to mention that Graham wasn’t always bald (I have pictures of him sporting a full head of hair and a beard!), but that was before he became handsome.
4. John Gardner, ENGLAND
I was somewhat surprised with Big John making the top five. However, as one of the panelist remarked, “he looks like a big teddy bear to me”. Another lady said she would just love to rub his head, as she was sure it would bring her good luck.
3. Chad Ullom, UNITED STATES
Chad was the only American to make the top five. Comments from the panel ranged from, “he looks like a crazy man”, to “I bet he knows how to have fun”.
2. Andy Tomlin, SCOTLAND
I expected Andy to make it to the top of this competition. Andy has the perfect bald head – it’s perfectly shaped and it looks like he doesn’t even have to shave it!! It’s always glossy. I suspect that he waxes it.
1. Peter Phillips, AUSTRALIA
Peter didn’t just win the voting majority of the panel for top spot, he had TWICE as many votes as anyone else! That makes Peter the SEXIEST BALD MAN IN IAWA. I know Peter – and from what he has told me he is also quite the romantic. When in Perth last year, he took several of us to this peaceful little stream outside of the city. It was a beautiful quiet spot. Peter told me, “this is the place I like to bring a Sheila and enjoy a nice bottle of wine.” I just know his perfected bald head probably helps out the romance.
CONGRATS to all bald men in IAWA!!! This is your day!!!!
COMING SOON FROM THE DINO MAN – the men in IAWA with the best hair!!